I was running down the Penn Avenue sidewalk, revving up for an act of faith. I was conscious and self-conscious. I knew well that people could not fly - as well as anyone knows it - but I also knew the kicker: that, as the books put it, with faith all things are possible. Just once I wanted a task that required all the joy I had. Day after day I had noticed that if I waited long enough, my strong unexpressed joy would dwindle and dissipate inside me, over many hours, like a fire subsiding, and I would at last calm down. Just this once I wanted to let it rip. Flying rather famously required the extra energy of belief, and this, too, I had in superabundance.... I ran the sidewalk full tilt. I waved my arms ever higher and faster; blood balled in my fingertips. I knew I was foolish. I knew I was too old really to believe in this as a child would, testing both the thing itself and the limits of my own courage in trying it miserably self-conscious in full view of the whole world.

You can't test courage cautiously, so I ran hard and waved my arms hard, happy....I was flying.

Annie Dillard, An American Childhood

Come see me in "A Christmas Carol" at the Shakespeare Theatre of New Jersey
December 1, 2011 - January 1, 2012
www.shakespearenj.org